The capacity to take ownership is one of those magical moments in time where you can gain a deeper understanding and knowledge of yourself. When you are less invested in how others think of you, when your ego is less involved in being right, when your intention is to know more about yourself, when you earnestly care about your well being, and when you live in the land of healthy entitlement you provide yourself the opportunity to take ownership that informs growth.
When I am lovingly challenged about how I hurt, angered, frustrated, or possibly saddened someone, it is an opportunity to hear and see that person. It is also an opportunity to know more about myself – what can I come to know about the origins of my actions, the feelings that informed my choices and the potential healing of old internal wounds. By taking self-caring ownership three significant things happen: 1). I hear and see the other person, 2). I learn more about myself and 3). The process and journey between us informs a deepening of intimacy.
In contrast, self-deprecating ownership only entraps you. It is basically asking the other person to take care of you, to sooth your wounded ego, shame and/or guilt – that is your work to lovingly do, not theirs. Even if the challenge that is coming your way is incorrect, your ownership of your own truth can be a place of underscoring what you know and inform greater intimacy with the other.