To actively see and hear others is to presume that you don’t know the answers – instead to be curious. Questions, a hallmark of curiosity, are an essential step in the process of seeing and hearing. The flower wants to be experienced, witnessed and observed, not talked to.
When you join in the relational experience of being curious, and relinquish being correct, you will not only know more about that person, but you will have more with that person. The more can be rich and nuanced, it can be informative and revealing, it can be bold and scary, and it can inform meaningful intimacy.
The process of being curious is also important in self-discovery. “I wonder what that was about?” “I wonder why I was just defensive?” “I wonder why I’m scared, sad, lonely, threatened, joyful, at peace, etc?”
To be curious, rather than correct, is to give up control and enter into a journey with oneself, and with others along the path.